THIRTY FLIRTY AND.. THRIVING..ISH

Oh man, do we have a lot to catch up on.


Life is so weird. Life never stops being weird. It never stops moving and changing, but the one constant I  guess you could say is it continues to just be…weird. 


I have taken so dang long to post a blog post that I almost think I should start at the present and go backwards.. so that’s what I’m going to do. 


The last year of my life has been amazing and horrible and hilarious and victorious and horrendous all at once. 


But at the end of this year…the dreaded happened…I turned 30. The year leading up to this day was full of panic and breakdowns in preparation for that day, as any normal Basic Chick would naturally have it… But when it happened…magically… everything was fine! The panic and the breakdowns were for nothing. Everything had sorted itself out. I literally woke up thinking  “good riddance to bad rubbish.” And even though it has only been three months, I have weirdly gone through a surprisingly large amount of life changes and feels. So thank you to my dramatic 20’s for fully preparing me.

The number one thing I have learned: Everything will sort it self out. Always. And, its true. YES, I feel like I was beat up by a gang of emotions and hit by a train full of anxiety and life altering decisions all at once, and somehow I barely climbed my way out of the dirty, dark hole that is supposed to be known as the best years of your life. But, alas…I’m alive. I MADE IT YA’LL. And everything worked itself out. The heart break and the friendships lost, the opportunities missed and the very very big mistakes made, where all for something. Could have lived without them but…they were for something. 


Loyalty

I’ve learned that loyalty is hard to come by. That as much as you want to trust people, unfortunately it may not be a fit. But when you find someone who is truly loyal to you, hold on to them for dear life and never let them go. And in my opinion, true loyalty is more than keeping your secrets. A truly loyal friend is someone who deals with the crap and the neurosis and the pointless drama that no one else wants to deal with. It’s someone who will support and love you no matter what you do and where you are, but who can also be brave enough to be faithful to your growth and development as a person. What do I mean by that? I mean someone who will have the hard conversations with you that you may not be able to have with yourself in order to help you become a better person. Someone that does it with all the love in their heart that they can possibly give you. Who will tell you the hard facts and then proactively be there to support you afterwards. Who will help you make practical steps to get you to a better place. Who will get in the trenches with you. I think someone who is truly loyal is also someone that is able to foresee your future feelings. Nothing irritates me more than when a friend who knows you well feels that its okay to play dumb and say they “didn’t know you would get upset” AFTER  the fact. A truly loyal friend does not always need to be physically told by you what will bother you. They know you, and they are cognizant of how things will make you feel. They genuinely don’t want you to ever feel sad, and they do their very best to achieve this.


 

Boys

Dating should Not. Be. That. Hard. Just be yourself. This is probably the #1 thing I still work on the most because I am a SPAZ. I have really good game for the first day/ conversation/ impression and then it goes right out the window. This year I spent so much time and anxiety and energy on trying to figure out what to say or how to act to keep the attention of men who where frankly not worth it. Just be yourself and in the words of one of my best friends LIVE YO LIFE. Girls, we are so special and unique. And I know we hear it from people that love us and support us all the time, and it’s SO EASY to say it to each other, but it is dang near impossible to believe it about ourselves when we’re stuck in this horrible monstrosity people call the dating world. But it’s true…life is too short to be anything but yourself. Stop trying to do the math on how long you should take to text him back and just do you, boo. Instead of wasting time on that, we should be working on making ourselves more well rounded and interesting, and opening ourselves up for something better. Make yourself someone you are proud of - always. Also…just so we have full disclosure…I will continue to read this part back to myself because I AM A NIGHTMARE in this department. But dang, I make it sound good on paper. But please. Please. Let’s just not lose ourselves for boys anymore. Stick to your guns. Stay rad, CHICKS. And boys…take this and just basically reverse it and it will apply almost the same.


Quality over Quantity. 

This is probably the number one lesson I learned throughout my 20’s and the lesson that took the longest to stick. I love to be loved. I think we all do. I love to find connections with everyone I meet. It is like the bread and butter of my life. I made friends with three different people on an 8 minute tube ride when I was in London two months ago and it made my heart oh so happy. But I have learned over the years…what makes my heart the happiest is nurturing the connections that mean the most. The connections that belong to the people that deserve it - true and loyal friends. Give THOSE people everything you have. And don’t share that love. Be a little selfish with the people you love and the time you spend. 


Dranks

Don’t drink kids. Just don’t do it. It makes you act stupid, and it’s literal poison. I won’t even go into it more than that. 


Fight 

Fight for the happiness you want. Fight for the love you want. “Once in a lifetime opportunities” do exist. And people do live with regret when they don’t speak up for love and happiness. This could pertain to relationships, major life changes, etc. Travel while you can, because there comes a time when you can’t be as frivolous as you once could be. This blog started because I quit my job and left town. And two years ago I was a strong believer in the wanderlust life. And I wouldn’t change all of that for anything. It made me who I am now. But it doesn’t last forever. And knowing that now, and knowing that I am more content with a slightly less adventurous life…AKA being okay with having a home and a job like a normal person, and not dreaming of living out of a van…makes me so thankful that I did what I did when I did it.


Take care of yourself girl. 

Wash your face, do a cleanse every now and then, drink A LOT of water, do a face mask, get a pedi, drag your butt to the gym, get some sleep. You’re worth it and your 30’s will thank you. Moisturize like you’re living on the freakin’ sun. 


So yeah, there you have it. There are my main thoughts on this new chapter in life. Love hard, thank the people who deserve it, be yourself, appreciate loyalty, be kind and let your weirdo out. And remember - things always have a way of working themselves out. I have some pretty exciting things coming up in life, and I’m excited to head towards these new adventures as the person I am today. 


NOW. Now that have caught you up on me being 30, and my feels have been felt, I want to tell you about my adventures this last year or two: Grand Canyon, US roadie & Europe! Keep an eye out.