Best Year of My life

Trying to stay positive in a lonely life is hard. What do I mean by that? What do I mean when I say lonely life?

Im always with people and friends and family and doing something fun and exciting so what could I possibly mean by “Lonely life?”

Sometimes the life of a fearless adventurer can be very much a lonely one. We are constantly searching for adventure but what does it mean to honestly be looking for adventure? What is thee biggest adventure in life without someone to share it with? Don’t get my wrong I don’t regret one thing ive done, one thing i've seen. But I can guarantee you if we pulled 20 people in the same room their answers would be, having their first child, marrying their best friend, taking care of their family, etc.

There are so many amazing things about living an adventurous life alone- you get to go where you want when you want anyhow you want, hanging out with and meet up worth whom you want. How long does this last through? Do I wish I could stop?in a lot of ways yes. In a lot of ways i’ll be honest i’m just looking for a new place to settle. A new place to call home. New people pt call home. Im tired. Exhausted actually. Ready to call it all quits for good, but with no where to call home at this point. It’s lonely a lot of the time. But.. what am i gonna do walk around and talk about how this life is lonely when I get to spend my time doing beautiful and new things with people who are beyond gracious and loving to a girl they just met? Thats is a. Depressing b. Pointless and c. Ungrateful. Hence what I said in the very g= beginning about being positive. Thats what i've been trying to do for about a year now. Staying positive and hopeful that i’m going to turn one of these corners and finally find the person or the plan give been looking for. For the kind of love that the longer I look for it becomes more and more unrealistic…

Part of this positivity is being constantly open to meeting new people and being hopeful that maybe they won’t also disappoint me like the last 25 guys have in my late 20’s. But alas it never ends. And everyone else seems to just sit on there but in their home town and people just drop in their lap. And keep telling myself no, there’s no way that I am not going o find someone and a something extra special with all this effort i’m making to create an exciting life for myself. Theres just no way- right? Idk though guys. Maybe ives been wrong all along. Maybe this whole time I did it the wrong way. Maybe I should have stayed in my hometown and married the first boy I met when i was young. Ha. Who knows anymore. like I said the things i’ve done and seen on my own I would never trade for the world, but what really is adventure without someone to chart with? Where do I go from here and how in the world am I going to even be able to stand staying positive for one more minute in this lonely life?

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